You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
