Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
