i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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