so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
