They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize