New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
