we're blogging at a bar
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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