Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
accomplished twins. life is a go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
