Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
