So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
