I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
