were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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