dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
