to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
