So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
