I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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