Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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