whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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