were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
