I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
