He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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