Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
wow bdsm is so cute
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
