it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I die, sorry about rent.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
