He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
