he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
