So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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