The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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