take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize