East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
