i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
