sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
