My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
