If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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