you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
