Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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