i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my being single is dangerous.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
