I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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