It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize