Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize