I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
