i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
