I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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