Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
someone owes me an orgasm
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
