he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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