Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize