Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
