Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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