I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
