Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
