dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
