Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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