thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
