Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize