It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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