Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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