Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
