i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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