it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
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I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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