i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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